Box of Crayons Blog


What’s most valuable?

Dinner the other night with a friend, and we were discussing various job options he has on the table.

One of them is with one of the coolest companies on the planet.  Better money, an expanded job role, the credibility of working with this company … and it would require a move to the other side of the country.

That just may be a deal breaker.

Because what that involves is stepping out of a community, a network of friends and colleagues.

I know that with LinkedIn and Twitter and FaceBook we’re all connected to everyone everywhere.

But, as this movie has it, one of the key questions we face is:

Who do you love?  And who loves you?

The gift of having people in your life you can hang out with, who you trust, who you get genuine pleasure from just being with … that’s something that’s not easy to replace.

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2 Responses to What’s most valuable?

  • Pingback: What’s Really Important? « Emily’s Quest

  • Apb

    it certainly isn’t easy, but it certainly isn’t impossible either. Having resettled from family, friends, and a significant other 5 times in the past 5 years (internships/ college/ fulltime job/ now graduate school)… I know what it’s like to feel starved from a lack of that familiar mulch and almost naked in my vulnerability trying to replace it.
    But each and every time has not only increased the connections that I’ve had going backwards… it’s allowed me to become more outgoing, more optimistic, and more open to creating new connections going forward. I’ve been very lucky to be able to maintain my previous relationships while continuing to make new ones. I’m still establishing the depth of trust with my current new life (3 months since starting grad school) and those in it… but I’m getting there.

    The question for your friend is not, can you replace what you think you’ll lose? The question is three-fold:
    1) can you maintain (to some extent) what you’ve got through long distance?
    2) can you eventually redefine your familiar mulch in a new place?
    3) can you survive/outlive the transition until you get to that familiar place?
    In my opinion, the defining moment is in question 3 and how you answer it. But the best part is that your old life (part 1) and your new life (part 2) are there to help you with part 3.

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