In the words of Nancy Willard: “Answers are closed rooms, and questions are open doors that invite us in.” But not all questions are created equal. A lot of the time, the questions we ask ourselves are based on the habit of self-criticism, and we get it, that’s a hard one to break.

Next time you’re asking yourself a question, pay attention to whether you’re being curious or have just found a new way to beat yourself up. 

Let's practice together.

Start with a typical question you might ask yourself:

“Why have I not accomplished more?”

See how this is based on self-criticism—we’ve been there too. But, what if you focused on positive outcomes instead of dwelling on the problem?

Try revising your question with an eye to the future:

“What do I want to accomplish, and what step can I take toward it today?”

Small shifts in language can create new possibilities. To encourage yourself to start practicing right away, add a reminder above your desk or on your desktop. The words “OPEN QUESTIONS” or “CREATE POSSIBILITIES”. Or, create time for reflection in the mornings or evenings where you let out all your self-criticism and try to reframe them. Put this in your calendar as your Curiosity Practice.

Being less self-critical is important in its own right, but it also has the bonus of changing how we approach others. When we make a habit of asking ourselves kinder questions, we get better at extending this kindness to others. This makes conversations easier and more engaging for everyone; great collaboration starts here.

So, take it one word, one question at a time. 

Be good to yourself. We’re in your corner, celebrating every win.